Antidote (to my mother)

There is the world.
             And there is you.
The world hurts sometimes.
             You abolish the pain.
The world can be cruel.
             Your love chases the cruelty to the shadows.
The world can misunderstand.
             You understand, and agree wholeheartedly.
The world can hate.
             You recognize hate, but do not let it taint your love for me.
The world sometimes pushes me down.
             You are the thing that pulls me to my feet.
The world does not think I matter.
             You do.

Thank you.

Oddly Enough

It gets easier every day.
I barely even notice you
anymore
and I must say it feels wonderful.

I've found things in my life to
replace you
To fill the aching hole inside
that no longer hurts so bad.

There are friends, beautiful
winter days
and hugs from warm bodies to soothe me.

There are purring cats and chocolatey
voices
to be there and give me joy in the midst of pain.

So I don't care anymore about the scars on my heart
Because they've long since stopped bleeding
And have found many ways to heal.

What A Difference A Day Makes

What a difference a day makes.
Have you ever
                                     had a day where things just couldn't seem worse?

Ever spent a day wondering
what exactly it is
                                    you're living for, and what the point of breathing is?

I've had a lot of those days
Lately and it seemed
                                    like they'd never end, that my heart would always be bruised.

But there's always something
A smile, a hug from a friend,
                                   a congratulations or the simple reassurance that you are loved.

Day to day our fate can change
A life can be turned around
                                   a heart can go from feeling like it's been kicked to wanting to fly

In just a blink of an eye
And it can all change
                                  for the better.

Bright Idea

Here's a thought.

Why is it deemed
necessary
to get yourself
stone-cold
drunk
to have a good time
when you won't even
remember
the party in the morning?

Just a thought.

You're spending money on
ruining lives
Using cash to forget
your problems
when that thing that you just
have to have
is the problem
that won't go away.

Think about it.

                       Today I

overheard
                       you saying

you're going to
                       join the Army.

I don't
                       think

you saw
                        me almost start to cry

but I did.
                        They'd deploy you

right out of high school

                        you said,

 if they thought you were good enough.

                        You'd be in the war zone

you'd get to see some action.

                        I wanted to leap across

the table and grab you and never

                        let go.

Action. Yeah right, because everyone

                        that goes in there

Comes out Schwarzenegger

                         Big gun and nothing but a scratch.

    
                             

Friction

You've probably never known that I worry for you
I worry that the world will not see the genius behind
the pillow-hair and the half-naked charges through the house.
I'm afraid of the other children that won't play with you
Just because you might know the Latin name for every fish in the sea.

The world is cruel to creative souls, and this I've seen firsthand
Many times myself.
There are those who will say, no,  you musn't draw sharks on your homework
Or, speak up child, and stop all this nonsense about your pet T-Rex.
I know you're afraid to go to school every day, and that you draw frowns on every
Self-portrait.

But from one Carpe Diem-ist to the other,  I say GO FOR IT!
I'll still be here to listen to how you and that basset hound Molly
Flew to Mars and made peace with the pink raptors
And I'll make sure that when you ask for chocolate milk,
It's the organic kind, and that there's a really cool bendy straw in it
Green, of course.

Freedom

don't think i don't realize that you're hurting too
but tell me is there a sweet release a kind of relief inside of you
for finally now the tears and the glares and the ugly whispers don't hurt
i'm too much of a strong soul to let you continue to treat me like dirt

i'm not letting you in now cuz i've found something sweet
something sweet and real and comforting that you can't have and never could
the fact is the victim isn't playing the victim and the one that twisted the knife is nursing a wound
you can't stop me from flying or spreading my wings because i want to live my life alive

i say goodbye to you forever because this time that's what i'm offering up in exchange
in exchange for all the tears you squeezed from me and all the lies you told
you don't control me you don't and never will because i cut myself loose forever
and i've got a life that you will never take away from me again.