Rage, Rage

I'm tired, ok?
I'm absolutely sick.
I'm tired of stupid people
Smiling with teeth that
Tear you apart while you
Pretend not to notice.

I'm tired of feeling too much,
Of caring when no one else does,
Feeling a chill in every inch of my body
When Bin Laden dies on the big screen,
When a life is taken and everyone else cheers
As the night-vision green of the camera shows us
His foot twitching, then growing still.

I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong
Of being the only one who doesn't get caught
Texting in class, saying nasty things on Facebook,
Or leaving sappy sticky messages on my boyfriend's Wall.

I'm sick of loving so hard that it hurts,
Of watching romance movies and feeling like
Someone took a giant ladle and scooped out all
My insides, and spending nights wishing I could
Hug him a little tighter, hold his hand a little longer,
And replace her in that happy family photo.

I'm tired of walking in a room and standing there
Pretending not to care while she talks to my friends,
Our friends, and feeling the triumph I imagine festering
In her darkest heart because she knows I hate that it still
Bothers me to hear the voice that I used to love to hear
Greeting me at the start of every day.

I'm tired of feeling like none of it will ever stop.

spanish mumbles

Twizzlers,
Tums,
Pumpkin bread.

French fries,
Watermelon,
Diet Coke.

Sweat-soaked skin,
Plastic leis,
Sloppy kisses,
And four-letter words.

Essential cologne,
Brut aftershave,
Old Spice deodorant,
And a Batman toothbrush.

Baseball,
Texas drawl,
Manicured hands,
An ice-cream cone for dessert.

Spicy whispers,
Worn-out leather boots,
A tanned arm over a pale shoulder,
A silly dance.

Spanish mumbles,
A knack for getting lost,
Laughter that fills a whole room……
You.