Four Months

 

I met you in October
We talked for hours
Ate too much
And you told me about Nepal.
I told you about Elvis.

 You were there when

I talked to Bo Rinehart
And got my umbrella stuck
In Seth’s hair.

You laughed at me because

I slept through the night holding
The drumstick Bo had actually touched.
You took a picture of me sleeping
And kept calling me Mr. Lugnut
After the character from the board game we played
The night we first met.

 Do you know how much I hated myself for not going on that walk, after? How much I came to regret letting you and her go alone and talk into the night and apparently bare your souls?

 I tried to make it work

Tried to stay friends with her
And stay friends with you
Even though you guys would cuddle
And kiss and post pictures together
And I wanted to kill her for it.

 We were going to see King Charles

In concert, you were gonna kidnap me
One day, I didn’t know when, and we
Were gonna see him together.

We were going to see the world. We were going to cook and laugh and watch movies and dance. You were going to help me with the banjo and I was going to help you decorate your apartment.

 Now it’s February, and I said goodbye to you forever yesterday. Four months. Four months ago today was the day after we spent five hours talking and eating and listening to music. Four months ago she was still my best friend and you were a new friend and I had no idea of all the shit that was coming. Four months ago I had no idea you could love somebody so much and want them out of your life all at once because it’s just too exhausting, too painful to have them in your life anymore. Four months ago, you weren’t going to marry her just to stay in the country and end up having your whole life laid out for you in the hands of two people I used to know. Four months ago, you had plans to travel the world. Yesterday, you sold your life away in a lavender tux in a wedding I decided was the last time I’d give you a second thought.

Four months ago, I was just getting to know you.

Four months later, I wish we’d never met.