Elvis and the Night

Fireflies

And velvet skies

And a soul crying out

For redemption.

I drove home fast

And I flew down gravel roads

Til I found the perfect place;

An empty field.

My silver lady on wheels

Carried me right into the center

And I stopped, turned off all my lights,

And turned on the music.

Elvis Presley, reinvented

Backed by electric guitars

And extra drums, singing a song

I knew by heart but loved like this

Even more.

The speakers shook

The car rattled til I thought

The 19-year-old Crown Vic would just

Lay down and die.

I sang every word as loud as I could

Screaming to hear myself over the King

Laughing too, because my heart seemed so light

So carefree, so liberated, so happy

In the pulsating blanket of night.

I almost cried it felt so good

And I drove home for real this time

With a smile on my face

Because no matter what the days bring

I’ve got Elvis

And I’ve got the Night.

The Time of My Life, take 19

You told me to save you a seat and I did and oh I got dirty looks from some of the other women and I couldn’t look anybody else in the room in the eye and it was such a relief when you finally walked in and every eye was on you you owned the room you made us all breathe and when you laughed it was like no music I’d ever heard and I was so proud when I was the one to make it happen even at my expense but I laughed at you too like when you couldn’t figure out how to clip the moustache to your straw and you ended up breaking the straw and dropping the moustache in your Coca-Cola (“Diet WHAT? Diet WHO?”) and Michelle gave you a bacon-flavored mint to try and you made such a face when you put it on your tongue then you spit it out on the table right in front of me and the woman seated across from me used her mother’s silverware to push it onto the floor then the sweet potato fries came and I don’t know which one of us ate more of them faster but we finished them together and you ate the rest of the apple butter with your fingers and I couldn’t help but think that I knew where you got your lovehandles and then you stuck all the straws together and 

 then we started spitting spitballs at Sheryl and Bobby and your dad and each other and then it was ice cubes and you had a spitball stuck in your hair and when I pulled it out your hair had something greasy in it like Brill Cream and I wondered if that’s what you used then you started singing Lonesome Cowboy and without even trying you sounded just like Elvis and didn’t even seem to know it and I got goosebumps which I tried to hide from you which was hard ‘cause I swear our arms were touching the entire night and yours was so warm and we’d both taken our shoes off under the table and a couple times your toes touched mine and mine touched yours and it was like the deadliest electric shock that was just like drinking pop too fast and having bubbles build up in your stomach and also like eating your favorite kind of ice cream but it doesn’t make you cold and we got to talking about how Elvis died and you said you’d read all this stuff about the people who didn’t believe he was dead and I remember thinking oh crap this kid could easily beat me at Elvis trivia after all and I thought too that I’d never talked about Elvis with anyone who understood how I felt before I talked about him with you and

you saw the picture of Carmel on my phone and I told you we’d put him down and your eyes like chocolate heaven got so sad and your chin actually trembled and my heart swelled til I thought it’d burst because you were sad simply because I was sad and I loved you for it then you told a story about getting caught with your girlfriend in your car by your dad and gave way too many details ("all you could see were his two feet in the window") and you were laughing so much and talking about the steamed up windows and I knew I was blushing ridiculously red and prayed you wouldn’t notice and wouldn’t know why and you took ibuprofen thinking it was a mint or something and you chewed it and the face you made made everyone laugh and you drank my diet Coke to wash it down and then the food came and the waitress looked at the mess we’d made and looked like she was gonna cry but you made her smile because you could make a lost soul the Devil or anyone smile like you’ve made me smile just sitting backwards in your chair talking about Elvis like he was an old friend you knew everything about and

then everyone was starting to leave and I was scared I guess scared because I didn’t wanna leave and face the world again out there I didn’t want to drive home at 2 in the morning I didn’t want the insurmountable joy I felt all over to end I didn’t want to stop feeling your arm pushed up against mine and I didn’t want to stop staring into your eyes while you talked about Love Me Tender and I had no idea what you were saying and you caught me at it because yours are eyes I could study forever and never see everything in them and I didn’t want to realize that I wasn’t the girl in your life that I only could pretend I was for a couple hours then you were driving back home to her and I was driving back home to my parents and my cat and I couldn’t go with you and go on pretending that your family was mine and your father said he loved me “so much”  and he hugged me then I hugged you then both of you hugged me at the same time then I hugged you again and held on just a little too long and you kissed my ear and

I could feel the tears burning so I walked too fast through the dining room deciding that the other people there could probably tell I was about to cry and not really caring I almost ran out to the parking lot and actually made it into my car after waving goodnight to Adam before the tears came hard and fast and wet and salty and uncontrollable and I sat sideways in the driver’s seat and watched the door until you came out and I watched you walk and my windows were down so I heard you faintly laugh and I watched and watched you until you walked around the corner and then your dad was gone too and it was really over and I had to go home and

Then I remembered that moment when I went up to the stage for a scarf (“I guess I will, I might as well”) tripping over the crazy selfish cougars and the ones who brought their handicapped children just to get your attention because you’re too nice to say no because you love the children and not the parents and I waited by the stage hoping you’d see me and you did and you knelt and said right into the mike with happy surprise in your voice

“THERE you are!”

Touching Elbows

Touching elbows
Meeting eyes
Brushing toes
Stealing fries.

Talking Elvis
Sipping Coke
Swapping stories
Telling jokes.

Spitting spitballs
Stacking straws
Making fun
Yawning jaws.

Telling secrets
Laughing loud
Blushing red
Ignoring crowds.

Crying
Touching
Eating
Laughing
Yawning
Telling
Loving.

Touching elbows
Meeting eyes
Brushing toes
Stealing fries.

The Gospel According To......

Deny me not the God I’ve built to save myself

But let me see that in which I scarce believe

When the righteous rise on chariots of fire

And the sinners crumble under the weight of the Unknown,

Who will free them from this mental slavery

These years of persecution

This time of rights and wrongs

Of blood-stained rosary beads

And dying for the cause

When Death is so vehemently held over their weary heads

As a punishment, not a promise

Of Hell, not Heaven like for those who are

Righteous, righteous according

To the book of Who?

Persecuted for my feelings

Made to seem smaller than those

Who cross themselves and pray and fast and long

But do not satisfy.

Was it really His intent to make us suffer?

Did He mean to have us deny ourselves PLEASURE for His sake?

Did He not allow the First People these feelings that the world might grow?

Am I really going to burn for all eternity simply because I embrace a man too closely?

And what does it mean, to be SAVED?

Saved from what? From Hinduism, from Judaism, from Krishna?

Who are we as a human race to send Ghandi, or John Lennon, or Khalil Gibran

To Hell for simply believing in a different Higher Being?

Why do we condemn what we do not understand?

Why do the rules we write and live by and persecute according to

Come not from God

But from Man?

The Cougar Club

Hairspray
Rouge
Too much lipstick, painted on thick like paint
Reaching fingers, fire-engine red
200 of them, crammed, pushing, fighting, screaming
Must get closer, must get closer
He’s mine, he’s mine
So much sweat and polyester
Drawn-on eyebrows marching like fat brown caterpillars
Rhinestones cover anything that stands still
Shouting, grasping, oooh she got it first I’ll kill her!
Each one certain she’s the favorite
They just want a piece just one little token
Like vultures to a dead zebra
Picking, picking

Yum yum, swallow, repeat

Eating it all up never caring if someone gets pushed down
Their loss, oh well, I got another teddy bear, another scarf!
I’ve been to 50 shows, you know, oh yes practically family!

Aren’t his children darling? Then offers to babysit when all they want

Is stories to tell their friends.
Vultures to the dead,
Birds of prey to the lifeless meat,
Closer in, closer in, their lipstick leaves stains on his cheek
Talons stroke the polyester, maybe pinching, always laughing
Oh excuse me but I must get another picture, I’ve only got
347 at home, and of course my husband doesn’t mind that I spend
Our whole retirement fund following that gorgeous young thing around
The country because after all,
I’m his biggest fan.

Wild (Sweet Accidents)

There was a prison-bus-limo outside Pizza Hut

(beef jerky)

And we watched a bad Disney Channel show while we ate

(cherries too)

That delicious pizza with subliminal meaning

(i’ve never noticed how much you cuss)

Stuffed with greasy cheese.

 I was scared to even go

(place where it all began)

Through the front doors

(not going to talk to me)

And up to the table where

(never been tickled by whiskers before)

He waited.

 But it was okay, it was

(i’d nearly forgotten how beautiful you are)

More than okay, it was

(oh, please don’t laugh too much)

Just like old times.

 There was the usual

(one day maybe you’ll do it)

Letdown at the end, squeezing

(you said you would, pretty much promised)

My eyes shut tight so I wouldn’t see

(maybe at show #20)

Those stupid glow-in-the-dark American flags.

 Then you hugged me close

(smelling that secret, expensive cologne)

And sighed, remembering this time that I was a senior

(just two more left, but don’t think of that now)

Telling me that I came to mind every time

(if that’s a lie it’s a beautiful one)

You sang that song.

 You  laughed and talked about your children

(Kaison, Presley, and ah yes, their mother)

Until I thought I’d burst with hidden jealousy

(wish I never saw her, knew her face)

And blurt out the Truth.

 But then, oh yes but then

(something special always happens here)

You went to hug me again and instead

(god bless sweet accidents)

Of kissing my cheek, you made our lips duet

(keep breathing, inhale then exhale)

And I could have died happy on the spot

(knowing I really couldn’t have you)

With you as my very first kiss.

A Place Only You Can Go

I escape myself
I watch you
I close my eyes
And listen.
There’s nothing quite like
Being there
Losing my fears
My doubts
And my frustrations
In the scream of the guitar
And the sweet sweet harmonies
From your lips.
There’s nothing like
Listening to the words of
Every song
And hearing the joy
The love
That goes into writing them.
There’s nothing like
Sweating, living, breathing,
Jumping up and down and
Screaming until my voice
Is nearly as raw as
The lead singer’s.
There’s nothing in this world
More powerful, more profound,
More spiritual
Than being a part of something
So real
So rare
And so redeeming
To my
Very soul.
There’s nothing like
Catching a glimpse
On the street
And feeling my heart
Stop.
There’s nothing like
Standing in the cold
Staring at my shoes
Because I looked into
His eyes and was surprised
By the weakness I felt
In my knees.
There’s nothing like
Watching you talk
To other fans
About clothes and how
Stupid it is that they wouldn’t let
You take pictures of something
You wanted to buy,
And I’m wondering how it could be
That someone I’ve seen
Twice
And has a mustache and wears old-man
Cardigans
And dances like a beautiful fool
And can sing higher than I can
Could ever make me feel
So alive
With just a glance.